In my own way

I’ve spoke a bit recently about my take on faith and spirituality, finding my faith etc. 

I suppose I’m technically more spiritual than religious, but if someone asked if I was religious, my response is pretty much the same: ‘In my own way.’ I’ve mentioned before that reading verse from holy books is calming for me. I also love yoga and the mental clarity and calm it gives me, as well as helping my physical health. 

I like to think I take a pretty open-minded approach with regard to the world. That’s how I was brought up, in multiculturalism, and seeing prejudice and racism in the world that’s not a way of thinking I ever wish to entertain.

I’ll be quite blunt here: the dogma of organised religion is something I absolutely loathe and detest. I respect different faiths and even practice some teachings, resonating deeply in basic Christian teachings and very fond of the Buddhist concepts of oneness and meditation. In past posts I’ve also talked about Quakerism and Unitarianism, and how certain principles there resonate with me. I love nature and yoga. So I can’t say really that I belong to any one wholeheartedly. Learning about the world and everything in it is just in my bones, but some don’t take too kindly to that. Hence, the ‘in my own way’ answer. 

But I can’t stand dogma. The ‘fire and brimstone’ for doing things that are, by today’s world, very normal. One thing that particularly irks me are doomsday preachers, regardless of belief. I feel quite awful saying this, and I try my best not to judge, but it’s difficult not to judge what is essentially, a very judgemental faction among different beliefs. Science, religious or both. 

The ‘believe what I believe or you’ll burn in Hell!’ crowd. The ‘sex/masturbation is sinful’ crowd. The ‘if you believe in God, you’re automatically stupid’ crowd. The ‘if you’re not sure, you’re stupid’ crowd. Granted if it’s not for you, it’s not for you. But what’s right for some is not right for others. That’s what many can forget. 

Many will vehemently disagree with me, and you are more than free to. For example, I was once told if I ever became Christian, I would have to stop doing yoga because it was ‘idolatrous’ because of its history of ‘worshipping other gods’. That, and that I would have to stop sleeping with my boyfriend until we got married. That isn’t for me. Plus, weddings are expensive, so we’d be waiting an awfully long time!

But I like to think that’s not how God, or whichever higher power(s) it is (if there is, that is. Truth is, I don’t know, but I like to believe there is) is like. I’m very lucky in some ways to have experienced kindness within different faiths.

When I was 15, I visited a mosque with my family for a school meeting with the local Muslim community. The meeting was in a large room, part of the mosque, that was like the equivalent of a church hall. For all the prejudice against the community (particularly towards the men) I can safely say we were welcomed with open arms, and the women treated like princesses. 

When I was 17, I unintentionally stumbled upon the Rosary prayers when visiting a Catholic church. I was not brought up Catholic, so all the droning voices begging the Virgin Mary to pray for us sinners was very alien to me. I was already in the middle of the aisle so I felt rude to just walk out, so I sat on the pew very awkwardly. After a little while, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and there’s an elderly Filipino woman with a bright smile and a spare set of rosary beads. As the prayers went on, she taught me how to pray with them. I’ll never forget that and even now, sometimes I wonder how she is doing. I’ve not seen her before or since.  

Personally, I firmly believe that we can’t strictly abide by what was compatible 2000 years ago. Let’s face it, we no longer take animals to our priests to sacrifice at the altar every time we have sex, do we? (For those who understand that Old Testament reference, I applaud you!) As you can tell, I find studying the history and context fascinating. 

The way I see it, faith or lack of aside, we’re all in the same boat, aren’t we? I’m very much part of the ‘can’t we all just get along?’ crowd. 

That’s really where my ‘spirituality’ so to speak, comes from. Learning. I have to learn. I need to learn. History, religion, crafts, I have a thirst for knowledge. And with so many debates about anything and everything, I like to learn as much as I can from going straight to the horse’s mouth. That comes in the form of reading books, watching documentaries and learning from history. 

Some may think I’m intensely misinformed for this approach, and they might be right, but I like to think I’m not doing any harm by learning as much about the world as possible, fuelling my desire to expand my knowledge and try to be as good a person as I can. Not to act all ‘holier than thou’ by ANY stretch, that’s just how I roll! 

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22 thoughts on “In my own way

  1. I love this post so much , there seems to me many overlaps in our individual approach to faith and spirituality. I also find interesting the historical context to the time various scriptures originated. At the same time I also admit that as humans we like to bend truths to justify our choices. This topic is a minefield but also fascinating.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha thank you! 😁 Good to have some overlaps (or many overlaps in my case! 😂) And yes I agree on people bending things. Always has happened and always will. It’s absolutely a minefield because no matter what you say, you’re still going to piss off someone 😂 But it is incredibly interesting as well as personal 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree wholeheartedly with your irritation with those who use the convictions to judge others who are not like them. As you said, more learning and better understanding of other religions, cultures and traditions is an infinitely more appealing approach than judging and preaching.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. theacquiescentsoul

    I was raised catholic and although I have really no negative feelings towards the faith of my youth, I have a logical conflict with many faiths and my sexuality – i.e. most religions have a distinct aversion to my sexual tastes. But, I have also taken solace in the fact that I don’t have to subject myself to anyone who makes me feel less than anyone else either. So, I suppose it works out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hear you! I’m a kinky person who has attraction to women as well as men (though I am predominantly attracted to men for the most part) so automatically that’s enough to get up the backs of a fair few religious folk! 😂 But when all said and done, it’s not their business, and if it’s something that’s very much connected to a higher power for you, how you do you is between you and that higher power. As long as it’s between consenting adults of course then it doesn’t matter! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you so much for joining in with this week’s F4T. Your approach is very much like mine and I wish more people could open their minds and hearts to learning more about other people’s beliefs, I think it would make the world a much friendly place, alas though we will probably always have the zealots who cannot see past their own ideals, thank goodness for folks like us though that we can surround ourselves with xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Floss 🙂 It’s always a pleasure to join in with F4T 🙂 I completely agree, zealots be it social, political, religious are always in my experience anyway, like talking to a brick wall. You either believe what they say or you walk away. I’ve had to do the latter a few times! X


  5. I find religion fascinating and visiting places of worship is one of my loves. But I detest the way organised religion conducts itself and the complete hypocrisy of so called christians and others. Great post.


    1. Thank you Julie 🙂 I can understand that. From experience some of the kindest people I’ve met have been Wicca or Pagan, something the church has demonized over the centuries. And some of the most vile people I’ve met went to church every Sunday. It very much depends on the person but certain ideologies within institutions I find very harmful (homophobia, forced childbirth etc.) are things I feel need addressing. That being said, from their source texts it’s an interpretation that’s either wholly warped by the reader by way of metaphor and context, or completely misunderstood. My take is: if your faith, or lack of, teaches you to hate other people who’ve done nothing wrong, you’re not doing it right x

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Comments closed on that last post!!!!
    No I am not letting you cute little butt off the hook that easily. No I am not.
    Break those myths and bust some balls.

    You said penetration in front of them? I would have been smacked from here all the way to next Monday if I had done that.

    Love reading about your dressing choices. Very fascinating. I don’t know how it is on your side of the pond, but I watch women walking around in pajamas and sweats. There are moments for that, but not all the time. Even for nights out, I see many women choose not to be sexy.
    Shit, but at least you can try to look like a girl.

    I rather over dress. I am making a good impression from day one. No doubt you are as well.
    And you were a good girl? That is sweet.

    I can tell you some amazing stories about me and good girls. (Oh, you said you didn’t want to hear this trashy stuff). LOL

    Seriously, because you write erotica doesn’t mean you are looking for sex. Some people (mainly men) just won’t get it. That is why they OD on porn in their lonely rooms.

    Hope you are doing good Honey.
    Please keep yourself and everyone in your heart safe. xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha oh you do make me laugh! xD Well they’re open now so feel free to write another or copy and paste!! xD
      I must have done at some point in the conversation but it was in context lol It was mainly them being like ‘Are you comfortable if we talk about this?’ which I was fine with. I was very much involved in the conversations, giggling along with them despite my lack of experience at the time. I suppose some may still consider me inexperienced as I’ve been with two men in that way.
      Yes, I was lovingly nicknamed ‘Hermione’ by my family for being the resident boffin! The amount of academic pressure I used to put myself under was insane. I was very much a perfectionist!
      I have seen pyjamas here as well. It’s known for some to be heading out with their rollers still in their hair! 🙂 It’s not something I’d do personally, but that’s me. No judgement to them. I’ve only done the pyjamas once around eighteen months ago, and that was because my trousers got soaked in the rain and they were the only alternatives at the time. So you best believed I rocked that pair of Eeyore pyjama bottoms while out and about! xD
      Well feel free to share on your own blog, I’m not stopping you! xD It’s when it’s done without the consent of the person they’re sending to that bothers me. Because I’m with someone, for some that’s what gets them off. Like really?
      Some don’t get it at all, but that’s their problem. Some take the approach of, ‘well, you should be more ‘proper’ as not to provoke them.’ My response is, ‘No, they should grow the fuck up. They’re not uncontrollable animals, stop making them out to be. They’re adults so they can learn right and wrong like everyone else.’

      I’m doing alright thanks, just throwing myself into writing and learning. Helps keep my mind off what’s going on right now. I hope you’re ok too, especially since reading your surgery got rescheduled.
      Thank you, you too xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, I don’t judge people. But if I see a woman dressed in pajamas I wouldn’t be interested no matter how beautiful or voluptuous she is.
        One day you have an emergency (like your wet slacks) i understand, but I see some ladies dressed liked that constanty. Big turn off for me.
        Do you really answer them that way? lol
        Don’t ever let anyone tell you to be proper, or how to act, well, unless that person is Daddy.
        Then, all bets are off.
        I am so deep into my writing, I am not feeling this lockdown stress that I see so many others. How many times have I heard people complaining about their jobs and wishing they could stay home. Well, now they have it. It really is that simple.
        Don’t know maybe I am an asshole.
        Surgery. It will happen eventually.
        It is what it is. Not going to worry about that. What can I do? Wait for life to resume like everyone else.
        Will drop some words on your oringinal post.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Never implied you were judging, let’s just my general response lol That’s their thing, I’ll do mine 😂
        I’ve been used to more comfortable, basic cotton clothes (when working backstage etc. , comfortable breathable clothing is a must) and that’s just been my groove for a while. But recently my love for the more vintage style and dressing up for oneself has rekindled with everything that’s going on. I hadn’t for a while due to the self conscious ‘what with others think?’ when I’m out and about and then it was a body confidence thing (Last time I really went for it I was around a US 8 now I’m more a US 12 currently, trying to get back to an US 8/10as that’s where I’m most comfortable) I thought why not? You only live once right?
        And yes I do. Minus the expletives depending 😂 When you say Daddy you mean like a Daddy Dom?
        I suppose they’d prefer the working from home without a dangerous pandemic ideally, but we can only do what we can in these times. Xo

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You are so much fun to talk to.

        Hey, I understand being comfortable. I guess you know I have a thing for ladies and their shoes. I never said high heels. Many ladies gave me a hard time.
        I just said shoes. They is a time and place for each different style.

        Regarding the size. would say your current size is fine, BUT, i know women. Do what you can to acquire and maintain the size that best fits you.


        Liked by 1 person

      4. Ahh yes, you and your foot kink! How could I forget? 😂 Why give you a hard time?
        Yeah it’s not a huge deal as it was, just more out of that’s where I feel most healthy and like myself. Being from the aftereffects of hormonal birth control some of that is pretty much permenant in that my frame is more voluptuous. So regardless of my actual size I’m more voluptuous than I would have been at 21. But not complaining on that front haha! 😂

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: Changing from the inside out – Life of Violet

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