Seeing a recent prompt on Twitter as part of Brigit Delaney’s Erotic Journal Challenge, I’ve been thinking about doing a post on this for a little while now.

What is/how would you define your sexual style?

Sexuality is such a broad thing that I don’t know if I can explain everything about my sexual style in one post, but I’ll do my best.

Honestly, it depends what mood I’m in. Sometimes I’m feeling dominant, other times submissive. Sometimes slow and sensual, other times primal and raw. But generally speaking, I like to think of my sexual style as perceptive and attentive.

I love to give pleasure. Making my partner feel good makes me feel good. If I can turn him on, and knowing I’m the one to do that, really fires me up. Less of a vicious cycle and more a voracious sexual cycle, so to speak.

If there is one thing about sex that is an all-time turn off for me, it’s a selfish lover. I can’t stand it. Someone who puts their wants and needs entirely before your own and essentially, not giving a shit whether you enjoy it or not.

I’m not your personal human fleshlight. No shade fleshlights! 😂 Enjoy yourself yes, but make sure your partner’s enjoying themselves too! It takes two to tango, after all. Or three. Or four. Or however many you want to enjoy some sexy times with!

For me, communication is imperative. How can I know what my boyfriend likes and dislikes if we don’t communicate? Now, this can be commonly through talking, and also learning about each other as we go whilst we’re being intimate together.

Those first stages of exploring each other so intimately is such a beautiful time. Everything’s new and exciting. Now that we’ve settled into our relationship and the honeymoon phase wore off, we’re still learning about each other. You never stop learning. Especially so, when (like myself) one or both partners are actively exploring their sexuality and kinks.

For me when it comes to sex and intimacy, I’m a firm believer of (within one’s boundaries) finding out what the person likes and wants, and giving it to them. As mentioned before, I’m all for giving pleasure as well as receiving it.

But I don’t mean this as in keeping score with each other. Nope. I’m not about the ‘Well, I gave you a blowjob so you give me anal.’ approach. Me and my boyfriend have very similar viewpoints when it comes to sex.

Making the other person feel good, like me, is a huge component for him getting off. He likes to make sure I’ve climaxed before he does, as he doesn’t want to leave me high and dry, as it were.

He’s a lover that is focused on my pleasure as well as his own, and I like to think I’m the same. I like to think I’m quite a sexual person (my inner monologue: You think?! You have a sex blog, you dolt!) and my sexuality and sensuality becomes even more heightened in a shared experience.

There’s just something about sharing it with that special someone that just…unff!! It does something to me.

And with having a high sex drive, the thought does something to me quite frequently. Not that I’m complaining, of course. 😉

All my love,

Violet xx