When I look at my chosen title for this post, immediately I think of oil and water. Not the best mix.

To be candid, the last time I had anal sex was six months ago. For all you lovers of all things butt stuff, that can feel like a long time. I have wanted to over the last few months, but I’ve had many reasons not to. Anxiety is one of them.

I’ve only had anal sex a handful of times. Admittedly, it does feel weird, really weird, before it feels good. To get a sense of how weird, when my boyfriend (after a couple of attempts) went inside me, my thought process was:

“Ok…so this is what getting probed by an alien feels like…God, this feels so weird! I’m yet to feel the good everyone goes on about, is something wrong with me? Is my asshole broken?! Oh no, wait…There it is. Ok…ok, that feels nice. Ok, back to feeling weird again. Wait, wait…ok, it’s nice again. Relax, woman…ahhhhhhh…..”

With anxiety, it can be difficult to properly relax in any situation, let alone relax enough for anal sex! I do enjoy it, like anything it takes a bit of getting used to if you haven’t done it much. It’s brilliantly intimate and add some spanking to the mix? Mmmmmmm yummy!

But I have found something that completely relaxes me enough where I won’t involuntarily tense up, and purely by chance. In my post Happy little sub, I talked about how I love, love, LOVE, being called “good girl”, “babygirl”, being sexually submissive, him being in control, saying “Yes, Sir”, “Thank you, Sir” etc. etc. You get the idea.

Out of nowhere, my boyfriend started talking like that to me and oh my God…my body and mind entered this zen-like state and I was in anal heaven. When that dominant dirty talking goodness comes out, my thoughts are parted like the fucking Red Sea. I’m calm, enter this delicious submissive-like headspace, loosen up down below and I am raring to go!

For me, that’s the only way I can get relaxed enough for anal sex: Full-scale Dom-ly dirty talk. And a truck load of lube. You can never have too much lube!!

All my love,

Violet xx

*Picture – Pinterest

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