CW: Mentions of consensual choking during sex.

So uh…this is an interesting development.

Turns out I like being choked during sex?

Me.

Terrified-of-not-being-able-to-breathe-in-the-slightest-me likes getting choked while getting railed?! Who’d have thought it?

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not choking where my air supply is being completely cut off. That’s still a no for me and I think it always will be. And I love a hand around my throat during sex as a dominant gesture, and I have frequently used it in my erotica. “Not tight enough to choke her, but enough to know exactly who’s in charge”.

And I have liked that during sex. But to my surprise, I actually like the firm grip, where some strength is exerted. Let me explain:

So, I asked my boyfriend during sex a few times, to put his hand around my throat, letting him know what level of, well, throat-holding-ness, I was ok with. He enjoys this too, especially during missionary and anal sex, where his dominant side can really come out.

Recently, I’ve been quite shy to initiate sex, despite my high sex drive. Anxiety around my body image re: sex, second guessing if I’m giving him enough pleasure (despite his repeated reassurances that I am), can be a real buzzkill. But despite my anxieties, I couldn’t take it anymore and I was desperate for him. I approached him, face half-covered by my fluffy cardigan. In my nervous awkwardness, I said, my voice a little muffled by the cardigan:

“Ok, I feel bad for being so shy. But I really need to say that I really want you and with your full and free consent, I really want to make love to you!”

He looked a bit surprised! Before I said anything, I walked into the room and dropped my phone and book on the bed with a little more enthusiasm than originally intended. He thought I was pissed off about something before I opened my mouth! Nope, I was quite the opposite!

My boyfriend still gets a little shy when it comes to me point blank saying “Yes, I find you attractive and I want to fuck you.” despite being together over seven years! Blushing a little, he agreed. We agreed to (unless we changed our minds for whatever reason) get to it when we went to bed that night.

That night, we got cosied up in bed. A cuddle led to kissing. Kissing led to undressing, and more after that led to having sex.

He was on top, and I wrapped my legs around him, my hands clutching at his shoulder blades. In between the passion were the gentle kisses I go weak at the knees for, turning me on all the more. As he thrust harder and faster, he wrapped his hand around my throat. He’s done this before and I enjoy it when he does. I like the dominance, sometimes roughness, of it.

I could feel my body submitting as well as my mind. It’s like my body took this relaxed, turned-on sigh, relaxing into this incredibly dominant gesture.

Ffffuuuuck…

The happy hormones released during sex flooded my system. It was a firm hold, taking my breath away a little. He looked down, watching me as I watched him really go into his element. He took my wrists, pinning them above my head in one hand, his other on my throat. I begged him to hold my throat tighter, letting him know what was too tight or too loose until it was just right.

I basked in the feeling it gave me, and what it gave him as he got close to climax. He came hard, and we lay on top of each other, catching our breath. He wanted to know if it was too rough.

No, I said. It was perfect.

Image – Pinterest