I got into bed and he pulled my top down, kissing my nipples. My nipples are very sensitive, some times more than others. Given I’d just recently had my period, anything but the utmost of gentle treatment registered as painful. He kissed away, being as gentle as he could as we kissed and cuddled under the sheets. The bedside lamp was on, lighting the bedroom in a warm, cosy glow.

We started off with PIV sex, going slow and then fucking harder, when I said something that had been on my mind for a little while now:

‘I want you to fuck my ass.’

For those who’ve been reading my blog for a while now, you’ll know that anal sex isn’t something we do on the regular, nor have had completely positive experiences with. The sex itself? Great. The aftereffects? Not so much. But, if at first you don’t succeed, try again…a little more carefully in my case!

My main concern was that despite having a potentially enjoyable experience, I would either bleed afterwards (as I’d done every time before) or experience some stomach issues afterwards. For those of you who don’t know, I have IBS and if not careful, anal sex can potentially trigger symptoms for me.

So me and my boyfriend go ahead. We stay having PIV for a time before we switch to anal. For anal, obviously I need to be relaxed. What relaxes me enough to even attempt anal? The ‘Dom’ talk. Anal sex, for me, is generally quite a sexually submissive thing. Every time we’ve done it, it puts me in a more submissive headspace. So it only makes sense to get me more into that headspace before the sex with words, right?

My boyfriend does the sexiest thing. He makes love to me, slowly, kissing my cheeks, my lips, while using some dominant dirty talk to get me in the zone.

‘Do you want to me to fuck your ass?’

‘Have you been a good girl?’

‘Do you want to be my good girl and let me fuck your ass?’

*Happy groans* Ahh! Especially with that gorgeous, slow rhythm he had going on? *chef’s kiss* Long story short, he got me from quite nervous to a moaning, whimpering mess underneath him. I was still nervous about the anal sex going well, if it would work, but I was much more in the headspace I needed to be then.

The last time we had anal sex was in doggy style, so we tried that. Didn’t work. Tried on my front, also a position we’ve done successfully. Didn’t work. Reason being, while a lot of lube is essential for anal, we used a lot of lube. Like half a bottle. Not that I’m complaining. It certainly made things easier once we found a position that worked: Lying on our sides, my leg up and holding it bent at the knee, while he slowly worked himself inside behind me.

I wanted to go even slower than we had before. I knew taking all of him for most of the sex wouldn’t be the best idea, as much as I’d love to. So we stuck with a rule, for the most part: just the tip. He slowly slid inside me, asking if I was ok. I definitely was. I knew I needed to relax (when I’m not, it feels a bit like it’s burning) and when I did, it felt really good. Going slowly, we worked even more until he was all the way in. I whimpered in to the mattress.

‘Are you ok?’ he asks again. I couldn’t actually talk for a bit. It felt good in such a way it left me speechless (which those who know me will know, rendering me speechless is not an easy thing to do!)

‘Yeah…’ I manage. ‘I don’t think I can take it all the way though, babe. Just the tip for the time being, ok?’

‘Ok,’ he says.

We stick to just the tip, him using short, fast thrusts and using his leg to brace against mine to stop him going any deeper. We tried different positions again when we felt like switching up, but none worked like laying on our sides. All while he thrust the tip of his cock in and out, I worked my clit. I came close to orgasm, but didn’t quite manage it.

Sometimes I don’t always come, but that’s nothing new. Anxiety, in this case ‘performance’ related, can affect my ability to orgasm at times during sex (I’m working on it) as well as just generally being tired. It’s usually easier for me to orgasm with clitoral stimulation and vaginal sex, separately or together. So to come that close during anal I consider an achievement.

I asked if he was ok. He said yes with that extra bit of flair that tells you when someone’s really enjoying something. He LOVES anal sex with me but has never asked to whenever we’re going at it, considering my circumstances. He leaves it to me to give him the green light, so not only does he know that I feel completely ready to do anal, he also doesn’t feel like he’s pushing me. Not like he does with PIV sex or any other intimacy, but you get what I mean.

I loved hearing the sounds he made and him talking to me to keep me relaxed. Things like, ‘That’s it…’, ‘Good girl…’ and ‘That’s my girl…’ were so encouraging to help me zone out, whenever I tensed up and then tried to take him a little deeper. Along with him telling me he was so close and that he needed to come (seriously guys, tell your lady that. It’s hot as fuck). I moaned for him to come for me, and revelled in the moans behind me growing louder until he did, encouraging him all the while.

And you know what? No bleeding or tummy troubles afterwards! So I think that’s a win.

**One of my goals for 2020 is to be able to commission customised artwork for Life of Violet. If you would like to support my blog, be it for this, or you just want to support your girl and keep me caffeinated whilst I write, please consider buying me a coffee. Xx