I love fishnets. But the last time I wore fishnets in public, I got some looks. It was years ago, and I’d just finished a show for a university performance. After the show, the cast and friends decided in true performer style, to go out on the town.
I wore a clingy black wrap dress, sleeveless, V-neck but not too booby, and the skirt above the knee. Along with the Snow White-esque makeup, red lips and all with the curled dark hair. I decided to step out of my comfort zone and don some standard fishnets with my heels, instead of my then go-to opaque, black tights.
I looked what some might consider ‘slutty’. Legs out, high heels and fishnets. Fishnets have been long associated with what sex workers, those who have worked the streets or otherwise, wear (sex work is work and they should be treated with respect). Including low cut tops and heavy makeup. So, all in one? Given fishnets were always associated to me with dancing (having done Musical Theatre in college, where fishnets are a go-to) I’d worn them for shows a fair bit.
I wasn’t a stranger to the its other perceptions, but I figured the skirt not being uber short would balance it out a bit. I may have blended in in a nightclub, but I may have overdressed a bit. But I was known for dressing up and I enjoyed it, so why not, and who cares? In retrospect I say with no arrogance intended, that in that outfit I looked fucking hot. However, being a curvy gal even with my then dancer-like body (ah, hormonal birth control side effects. Thou art a heartless bitch) I may have underestimated the fit of the dress on my shape and how it would cling.
The looks I got? Mainly from two men in their 40s/50s at the bar, when I was walking past them and/or ordering a drink at the bar. I thought they were wondering what on earth I was wearing there, and perhaps they were. But after the second and third time going to the bar or walking past to head to the ladies room, the way they were looking made me really uncomfortable. It was a look of interest, but not the nice sort. Not even one of ‘I want to fuck you’. It was that look. Those who’ve been on the receiving end know what I mean. It was a look that if I could put into words, would be something like this:
If I went for it, how much do you think I could haggle for her to suck my dick?
And anyone who has been the receiver of that look knows it elicits the following response: shudders and skin crawling.
It reinforced the very archaic teaching we’re taught as women: that our worth is determined by how we dress. The fishnets and red lipstick was the selling points for those apparently. So against my feelings of ‘I’m wearing something I feel good in, what of it?’ I reached for my cardigan. The looks weren’t as much then. And the fact they noticed I wasn’t alone. Another reinforcement. Feel good, but in a controlled way. We don’t want to provoke the rabid urges of the menfolk, after all. Ugh.
Since then, not by any active choice, I’ve just not really thought about it, I’ve not worn fishnets in public. Though I plan to change that. Perhaps purchase some and pair them up with one of the few skirts I have in my possession. I really like fishnets. They do add a sexier, naughtier, even sluttier if you will, edge to what outfit I’m wearing, at least for me anyway. Maybe even some Russian Red lipstick. Oh, what a hussy I am!
I think it’s about time me and ‘Slutty Snow White’ had a long overdue revival.
*One of my goals for 2020 is to be able to commission customised artwork for Life of Violet. If you would like to support my blog, be it for this, or you just want to keep your girl caffeinated whilst I write, please consider buying me a coffee. Xx