CONTENT NOTE: This was originally to be part of the Tell Me About…Anal prompt courtesy of Submissy and HisLordship of The SafeworD/s Club, but I missed the deadline. Either way, hope it makes for good reading.
Butt stuff is a bit of a risky area for me.
Have I enjoyed butt stuff when I’ve done it? Indeed I have. However, with IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) having anal sex, or any kind of anal play, can be a little tricky.
Disclaimer: Seeing as we are talking digestive conditions here, fair warning of talk of bodily functions.
For those who don’t know, while IBS doesn’t necessarily cause long-term damage (Not saying it never has. I’m not a doctor or specialist) it can affect quality of life. So for someone who is partial to a bit of backdoor action, it’s a little gutting (no pun intended) that I can’t do it regularly, if at all.
What I like about anal play is that it pushes me into a particularly submissive headspace. My mind quiets, and I sexually submit completely to my boyfriend, something we both enjoy. As well, the somewhat taboo nature of anal play gives a naughty twist.
Now, the last time I had anything up my ass was when I got diagnosed with IBS and had to get examined. The doctor (a surgeon specialising in bowel conditions) had to do the glove on, lube up, a quick ‘I’m really sorry’ and up his finger went. This is done to check for signs of Ulcerative Colitis or Crohn’s Disease (both of which fall under the IBD – Inflammatory Bowel Disease – umbrella) among other related things.
Needless to say, even with the relaxation you do, they get pretty far up in there and can feel rather unpleasant. Also, with having IBS, my insides did not like that, and I was paying the price later that evening.
As I’ve mentioned before on here, mine is a mixture of stress induced and from different kinds of foods. However, while I know for a fact certain foods can trigger flare-ups, what I have that is fine one day can have my stomach become like Dante’s Inferno the next.
The first time I tried anal sex was aroud two years ago, that or there abouts. As me and my boyfriend got naked and jiggy with it, I asked him if he wanted to try it, to which he happily said yes. We slowly built up, penetrating with his fingers and lots of lube, but getting him inside me wasn’t successful. It was painful trying and we stopped.
We tried again around six months later, this time actually succeeding. I have felt some level of discomfort in almost every time I’ve had anal sex (only a handful of times). But once completely relaxed it’s felt amazing.
However, despite warm-ups, truck tonnes of lube, and being completely in a zen-like state of mind during anal sex, I’ve bled after every time. Not great. Plus, anything in my ass (like the doctor’s examination) could potentially trigger a flare-up.
As a result, anal sex is a very rare occurrence for us – unless a flare-up has not been had for a while. Which for anyone with any digestive condition will tell you: that’s few and far between.
Now granted, IBS is a condition that is heard of but sadly, quite a few fellow humans do not take seriously. Through misinformation, they think of it as mere stomach gripes. Oh no.
To put it in context, when we have to cancel social plans at the last minute because of a flare-up (it happens, and it sucks.)
What it looks like:
What it actually feels like:
It’s generally advised on the NHS website that anal play, under these circumstances, especially if you have IBD, are not a particularly great idea. Given some of the after effects I have had, I can’t say I disagree.
So while there is a hurdle in the way, on the rare occasion I can do anal play, I do enjoy it.
All my love,