I spoke before about how verbal humiliation (what I consider to be humiliating) is a major hard limit for me. I don’t get off on being made to feel like a deer in the headlights where I want the ground to swallow me whole. It’s one of the worst feelings on the planet for me. If I consider a kinky act humiliating for me, I won’t do it plain and simple.
Having said that, as mentioned in the prompt for this post, erotic humiliation is so subjective. What’s humiliating for me that would have me shouting red, could trigger multiple hands-free orgasms for someone else and vice versa. Everyone is different so I can’t give as clear cut an answer as I’d like. This particular kink goes on feeling alone, rather than kink and feeling combined.
Throughout my ‘kink journey’ so to speak, I have opened up to trying new things or finding myself aroused by something that was firmly on my ‘no’ list before. For example, use of certain words such as ‘slut’. It’s all about the context and if I’m ok with it. If it’s playful, yeah absolutely. If it’s designed to humiliate in a way that makes me feel small and want to hide away, you can forget it.
One in particular is ‘funishment’ or discipline roleplay. I’ve had fantasies and harboured curiosities but was, quite frankly, scared of trying as I was quite emotionally fragile at the time.
Like with certain words, even if the scene is designed to be ‘humiliating’, that playfulness of the roleplay is there. It’s a way to detach as naughty fun doing naughty things as opposed to making me feel like shit but still having an orgasm. Not orgasm is worth the shit feeling that comes with humiliation for me.
Being a switch however, erotic humiliation is a bit of a weird grey area for me. I’m much more comfortable dishing it (consensually, of course) in theory than I am receiving it. But again, only to a certain point.
The idea of edging and doing orgasm control (which can be humiliating in and of itself) on a Shibari bound submissive excites me. Bondage in itself can be considered humiliating, particularly if the recipient loves being in control but in this case, gets off on not being. That I’m cool with.
But if they wanted me to say ‘Look what you did you worthless piece of crap.’ in front of people (other consenting individuals) I couldn’t do it, even in private. I’d feel terrible and the first thing I’d want to do is give them a big hug and apologise profusely while asking if they’re ok.
Words can really hurt. I have no intention to say things like that to someone even if they do enjoy it. I just can’t bring myself to.
So overall, if I consider it to be ‘negatively’ humiliating as it were, and outside the confines of safe consensual fun, I won’t do it. But if it falls under the umbrella of ‘erotic humiliation’ but don’t consider it so, does that count as humiliation?
I’m unsure, but either way I just try to keep it simple: Enjoy or won’t enjoy.
All my love,