I spoke before about how verbal humiliation (what I consider to be humiliating) is a major hard limit for me. I don’t get off on being made to feel like a deer in the headlights where I want the ground to swallow me whole. It’s one of the worst feelings on the planet for me. If I consider a kinky act humiliating for me, I won’t do it plain and simple.
Having said that, as mentioned in the prompt for this post, erotic humiliation is so subjective. What’s humiliating for me that would have me shouting red, could trigger multiple hands-free orgasms for someone else and vice versa. Everyone is different so I can’t give as clear cut an answer as I’d like. This particular kink goes on feeling alone, rather than kink and feeling combined.
Throughout my ‘kink journey’ so to speak, I have opened up to trying new things or finding myself aroused by something that was firmly on my ‘no’ list before. For example, use of certain words such as ‘slut’. It’s all about the context and if I’m ok with it. If it’s playful, yeah absolutely. If it’s designed to humiliate in a way that makes me feel small and want to hide away, you can forget it.
One in particular is ‘funishment’ or discipline roleplay. I’ve had fantasies and harboured curiosities but was, quite frankly, scared of trying as I was quite emotionally fragile at the time.
Like with certain words, even if the scene is designed to be ‘humiliating’, that playfulness of the roleplay is there. It’s a way to detach as naughty fun doing naughty things as opposed to making me feel like shit but still having an orgasm. Not orgasm is worth the shit feeling that comes with humiliation for me.
Being a switch however, erotic humiliation is a bit of a weird grey area for me. I’m much more comfortable dishing it (consensually, of course) in theory than I am receiving it. But again, only to a certain point.
The idea of edging and doing orgasm control (which can be humiliating in and of itself) on a Shibari bound submissive excites me. Bondage in itself can be considered humiliating, particularly if the recipient loves being in control but in this case, gets off on not being. That I’m cool with.
But if they wanted me to say ‘Look what you did you worthless piece of crap.’ in front of people (other consenting individuals) I couldn’t do it, even in private. I’d feel terrible and the first thing I’d want to do is give them a big hug and apologise profusely while asking if they’re ok.
Words can really hurt. I have no intention to say things like that to someone even if they do enjoy it. I just can’t bring myself to.
So overall, if I consider it to be ‘negatively’ humiliating as it were, and outside the confines of safe consensual fun, I won’t do it. But if it falls under the umbrella of ‘erotic humiliation’ but don’t consider it so, does that count as humiliation?
I’m unsure, but either way I just try to keep it simple: Enjoy or won’t enjoy.
All my love,
Violet xx
Becoming Violet Grey 
I greatly relate to this, Miss Violet! The thought of being verbally humiliated- being called slut, whore, cum hole, whatever- holds absolutely no appeal to me. Certain names do turn me on though, such as being called a “naughty girl”. It is very interesting to me how we are all different in this way….how some (like myself) are turned on by spanking, and others feel it is abuse. Anyhow….great post!
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Thank you Nora 😊 You hit the nail right on the head. It’s like where do you draw the line? Playfully being called their slut is ok for me, but I draw the line at whore and particularly despise the ‘cum-hole’ and ‘cum dumpster’ ones. I admit ‘naughty girl’ does it for me too! 😂 And I completely agree on the spanking front too. I enjoy it but can’t do spanking to the point of bruising like some enjoy. That holds no appeal for me at all. But it is interesting to see what makes others (and myself along the way 😂) tick. X
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Humiliation is what you make it, personally I’m like you when it comes to receiving, massive negetive, no no no. But littlegem communicates what she likes about it and I keep it within the rules, I’d feel awful if I went too far. It’s difficult balancing act because it can really hurt someone.
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It sure is difficult. It’s good that you and littlegem have that communication so you both know you’re within the other’s limits 😊
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I am one who likes erotic humiliation! But there are things I don’t like. I really haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about it so I can’t be definitive. However on the few times I’ve been displayed submissively before people I have really been turned on. But I’ve been with my Queen or longer ago my girlfriends and that made a huge difference. However once I was part of the naked males in a CFnm event. I had no significant other there and while if was exciting in many ways, it wasn’t arousing in any. And I was definitely humiliated. So this likely requires more thought.
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That sounds like an experience for sure! I can understand how being with your significant other in those situations can make a difference 😊 x
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Love everything about this post. You are willing to try things to see if you like them. And your thoughts about humiliation align with mine. I really don’t get off on it. Well, as long as the word slut is permitted. It gets me going.
Have a wonderful weekend.
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Thank you Drew 😊 Like anything in that department, there’s no point in doing something you know you don’t enjoy when it’s meant to feel good. I have to agree with you there!
What can I say? I’m a total slut for peppermint tea and chocolate lol! 😂
Thank you very much, I hope you have a good weekend as well and hope Florida is treating you well 😊
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Haha No wonder I am lonely. All this time I thought the way to a woman’s heart is through buying her shoes. What a fool I have been.
Now, I know its peppermint tea. lol
Florida is my little paradise. Thaks.
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That too lol 😂 All three and you’ll be married within the month! 😂 Awesome, I’m happy to hear it 😊
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LOL
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I’m treading a fine line of wanting to experience erotic humiliation but having a partner who just can’t dish it out. I totally understand why and would never pressure someone into it.
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I understand, it’s always best to respect your partners boundaries 😊
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