Finding what brings me back to reality when really anxious has been a labour of love over the years. Therapy helped me find coping mechanisms that encourage my creative side, while medication helped bring me back when I was too far gone for pretty coloured wrapping paper alone to calm me down.

As time’s gone on, I’ve come to a place where I’ve felt much calmer, finding things and coming back to spaces where I feel more like myself. In my relationship, communication has been essential for this. Before getting the help I really needed, communication wasn’t easy. I wasn’t very good at explaining my feelings coherently. Now it is much better, better than I could have hoped for actually.

Doing the things I find are good self-care on any day, help keep me feeling like me and not like a tadpole in the Pacific, in a manner of speaking. While technology and social media can be good (I wouldn’t have been able to do this and speak with you lovely folks without it) it can sometimes feel like that, with the sheer amount that we can get bombarded by.

I felt some of the culture on social media (namely Facebook) plus just no longer feeling the need to post things for the validation of a like (I was victim to this on my personal SM) that I went full-scale Marie Kondo and just got rid of it. It doesn’t serve you? Out with it! Since then, I feel so much better and in the age of social media posting every tiny detail of our lives, it’s nice things for yourself.

I know this might sound hypocritical: You write about sexy stuff and your own sexual experiences on the internet! But this is something I really enjoy. Granted it’s not for everyone, but better to use it in a way that I enjoy rather than towing along just because, right?

As well, I’ve found myself returning to old things/habits/tastes etc. that feels more like myself. I’ve started looking at clothes that I feel is more my taste and drawing from that rather than trying to feel comfortable in something I don’t because it’s all I can afford.

I like quite traditional styles (usually in the market referred to as ‘modest fashion’ but modesty is pretty subjective depending on where you’re from, culture etc.) pastel colours, neckline not too low, skirts/dresses to or below the knee and so on. I’ve always been a fan of vintage (namely 40s/50s) style that’s very feminine.

Picture credits: Pinterest 

I try to get most of my clothes from charity shops if I can, as it’s going towards a good cause, affordable and more to my style and flattering to my shape, depending on the item. Recently I bought a black polka dot skirt that goes just below my knee from a charity shop, along with a pearl necklace. Wearing it, I felt confident, walked with a smile and just felt so much more like myself! I now have a Pinterest board dedicated to some style ideas to re-spruce my wardrobe!

Also I’ve got back into journaling. Being someone with anxiety and a student, I enjoy journaling as it’s something to look back on and also helps me get my thoughts out instead of cluttering up my head. I’m now learning Arabic and Russian on Duolingo, which is awesome!

And for those of you who follow me on Twitter, you’ll see I’ve gone a bit nuts for making soaps. I made my first ever batch yesterday and needless to say it was a bunch of fun! Just anything that taps into my creative side I just lap up and they’re nice to make as little gifts and so on. Again, it brings me back to the centre of things, where I feel most content and like myself.

I’ve been thinking of selling them as well as a little side hustle in my everyday life, and my boyfriend had the idea of making kink-themed soap! While I can’t find kinky soap moulds (believe me, I’ve tried!) I thought naming them something kink-related would be pretty fun, like ‘Aftercare’ for a lavender soap, ‘Yes, Mistress’ for a spicy cinnamon soap etc.

While those names definitely wouldn’t be in my vanilla life, I was thinking of perhaps doing a giveaway on here with different soaps I can make. For example, I say what soaps are available and the first ten people who message me with their preference gets sent one etc. as a bit of fun. Would that be something you guys would be interested in? Let me know.

All my love,

Violet xx