Exploring my submissive side has so far been a very interesting experience.
The only BDSM dynamics I really knew of was where the woman was the Domme and the man the sub. Because of this in my then non-existent knowledge of BDSM, I thought female submission to be something of a rarity. So when I discovered just how many women identified as submissive, I was genuinely surprised, as the femdom theme was pretty much all I had been exposed to.
Reading submissive blogs, books and listening to podcasts gave me some relief that there was a whole lot I could learn about female submission when I began to really look in to my being a switch. It’s great to know you’re not alone on that front! 😊
That and it batted away any ridiculous judgements that a woman being a submissive meant that she was anti-feminist. It’s having the autonomy to do what makes you happy and fulfilled and if submission does just that, then more power to you!
That being said, I don’t believe a woman being submissive and man being dominant is what I’ve hear a few people refer to as “the natural order of things” and vehemently believe all women should be submissive. People are what they are, there’s nothing wrong with a man being a sub or a woman being a Domme. Besides, coming from a switch I wouldn’t be me without my dominant side. Having the best of both worlds is far too much fun! 😉
Speaking for myself since being in a more submissive headspace, I have felt calmer. I haven’t stressed about certain trivial things as much as I used to. I don’t mind not taking the lead in certain things any more (all for the better to be honest!) and my housewifely aspect of my sub self (to my surprise) clears my head and makes me feel very happy. I like knowing that in doing what I’m doing, I’m looking after someone.
That the other aspects of D/s play of course! *swoons* Ok, focus, Vi…
This 1950s ideal-like demeanour seems like a far contradiction from my fiery, boss attitude dominant traits, but I just roll with it.
Switching for me is a bit like an elastic band. I’ll spend so much time feeling either more D or s, then once that’s run its course I’ll spring back to the other mind set. Sometimes it gets muddled up and it can be a little exhausting at times! 😂 But I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wouldn’t be me without my fiery dominant side. I wouldn’t be me without my almost traditional submissive side. Either way, it’s fun to be both! 😉
All my love,
Violet xx
Becoming Violet Grey 
I find it intriguing that you thought Femdom was the way most Ds relationships were! I would guess that they are in the minority lol. Regardless it only matters what makes each of us happy. Live as you wish! Enjoy your Ds however you like—shaken or stirred!!
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Just goes to show how little I knew about it! haha xD Whenever that was featured in a show or film I never once saw a M/f dynamic, it was always a dominatrix or some sort so that was all I knew. It was definitely a surprise to see that wasn’t as common!
I completely agree, it’s not something you can police to someone (as long as it’s nothing illegal of course!)
Oh I’d have to D/s mocktail it, I’m a lightweight! Haha xD x
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Very interesting read. Especially the part that you thought femdoms were the majority. 🙂
I get what you said about the elastic band and it being overwhelming. That’s how I felt a lot when I first identified as a switch. It’s getting easier. Probably because I don’t submit anymore. Not like I used to. I bottom -there’s a difference. And even when I bottom I often top from there hehe oopsie.
Enjoy the ride Vi and thanks for bringing us along -for part of it anyway 😉
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Yeah when I found out they weren’t the majority I thought, ‘Wow I really am clueless about this!’ 😂
It can be a little confusing especially when you’re feeling both dominant and sub at the exact same time! As far as I know (very little) bottom is for a certain amount of time during a scene, correct?
Thanks! 😊 And thanks for letting us be part of yours! I love reading your posts on your’s and Sayyid’s journey 😊 x
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Yes in a scene one can agree to be the Top, the other the bottom
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I thought so. Because I saw some people referring as sub bottom or sub and top on the interwebs I was a bit baffled 😂 Thanks for clarifying! 😊 xx
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Very nice to read that there are others with both sides. I have been a natural Domme without reading about the BDSM world. This month I started exploring being submissive and so far I really love it. And my mind is also far more relaxed. Happy exploring to you!
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That’s awesome Anna! 😊 Happy exploring to you too! 😊 x
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