Musings on exploring BDSM/Kink – Part 5

Yesterday, I received some wonderfully interesting comments from you guys surrounding my musings written in Part 4. Thank you, I love reading all your comments, messages and talking to you all.

These extra insights really got me thinking. In Part 4, I mentioned how so far on this journey I’ve found myself on, I prefer (at the moment) a more subtle, gentle type of dominance.

I mentioned chivalry as a way of asserting dominance and protectiveness that pushes me in to a more submissive space. Some great comments from two lovely gentlemen mentioned chivalry and a protective feeling in submission as well, so I wanted to talk about it πŸ™‚

I see old school chivalry (i.e. holding the door, walking on the side of the cars etc.) as a sign of respect to the other person. To me when I’m in my submissive state, I see it also as a protective gesture, knowing that I am respected and looked after by my Dom. In my dominant state, for me (I can only speak for myself) I see it the same thing, as a mark of respect and being looked after by the sub. Either way, I’m equally pleased lol

Would I practice my own marks of respect as sub, whether it falls in to chivalry or not? Of course! For me that’s a point of being a sub. My pleasure comes from pleasing my Sir.

A good chunk of my submissive side centres around an almost traditional housewifely demeanour. Making them a cup of coffee, keeping the house tidy for them, doing their laundry etc. I want to look after them and make sure they are cared for so they don’t have to stress any more than they have to. Just how my Dom would do the same but in a different way. I.e. deciding where to go out to dinner, what should I wear to such-a-thing, making a rule that I get to sleep at a reasonable time (I know that may sound silly, but trust me, that’s something I’m really bad at!)

Protecting and having each other’s back like any other dynamic/relationship, regardless of what the dynamic entails. And like any relationship, it’s a team effort and takes a whole load of work.

Also, I wanted to mention my comments I made about sadomasochism. I don’t like pain, physical or psychological, but certain types of light pain (more shock than actual pain) I’m ok with. That being said, a while back there was one particular thing I was curious of but didn’t think I would like. That is spanking.

I didn’t think I would like the “over the knee” element of getting spanked, but now it’s actually one of my favourite kink related things, providing it doesn’t get to the point when the pleasure goes away and it just hurts (which is different for everyone). I’m comfortable looking in to certain soft paddles, maybe a light flogger. I may like it, I may not. Does that make me a masochist? I don’t know.

So as time goes on maybe I might find out I like the things that at the moment I’d run a mile from. Who knows? That’s the whole point of learning I guess, to find things out about yourself πŸ™‚

 

All my love,

 

Violet xx

7 thoughts on “Musings on exploring BDSM/Kink – Part 5

  1. I had a girlfriend I used to get into trouble with. She didn’t want me opening doors for her etc. She was independent and thought I was belittling her personal abilities by doing these things. Ah well, the relationship didn’t last! I wonder why…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Crossover – Journey to Submission???

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