Like many of my posts recently, I wrote a similar post to this on my previous site and was lost in the shuffle.
That being said, as some time’s gone on I wanted to revisit the subject.
Just a little disclaimer: I’m in no way an expert on BDSM or any other subjects mentioned. I’m just an everyday gal who loves a good ramble 😊
When it comes to exploring BDSM/Kink, I’m relatively new to the whole thing. I knew certain facets about it for quite a while but only really started looking in to it recently.
A few years ago, I was quite conservative. I would never have been seen dead unashamedly buying and reading an erotic novel (oh, how times have changed! 😂) and if I wrote a story it would be very much behind close doors.
Writing is something I’ve always loved and wanted to do. I love writing romance and as I started to branch out, I wanted to take that next step in writing a genre I really enjoy: stories and snippets that had more erotic themes, including some with light elements of D/s, BDSM, kink etc.
Sex is nothing to be ashamed of (hey, sex is great!) and the topic of human sexuality is a very fascinating one.at that. So much so, I’d like to do a Master’s Degree in the subject in a few years time.
But for a while I did carry those feelings of shame and guilt about my interests in certain elements of this world I.e. D/s play. Until Fifty Shades, the general consensus around me was you were either a “freak” or it was some naughty taboo topic you had a giggle over with your college girlfriends, so I kept my mouth firmly shut.
Though I’m not a fan of Fifty Shades (I think it’s an inaccurate portrayal of BDSM, but that’s just my own opinion) it wasn’t until it was released and became a hot topic when my curiosity started rolling, and in the last year when I really gave myself permission to properly explore it.
It’s certainly been an eye opening experience so far! 😂 Honestly, many facets of it isn’t for me personally, even though I understand the appeal behind of it.
If I had to put a label on it, I’d call myself more “vanilla with sprinkles” than anything else! 😂
So far, exploring this has been a positive experience. I’m a lot more expressive and it has actually helped my anxiety. I’m a lot calmer and happier for it.
And it’s certainly a lot of fun to write! 😉 Either way, I’m having a whale of a time!
All my love,
Violet xx
Becoming Violet Grey 
I read 50 Shades—all three. Honestly, they are really boring. But they did bring BDSM out of the closet. It became fashionable to speak about and explore the lifestyle. I hesitate to say that what is in the novels isn’t real. Everyone’s D/s is their own and I’m never going to tell someone “how” to do it. But you’d think hat three volumes of an erotic novel might actually cause a few erections… but I don’t remember any. And I did read it before I was caged. lol
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I agree it was great that it brought it in to the limelight so people could explore it. If it hadn’t I wouldn’t have had the guts to find out more, I wanted to see what all the talk was about lol
Apologies if my “inaccurate” comment came across as a bit judgemental. Everyone’s D/s is so different and unique to them and it’s definitely not my place to say “you do x, y, z etc.” If it’s between consenting adults, you do you 😊 I just didn’t like the way he was trying to get her to do things she was uncomfortable with/didn’t want to do and then sulk/get angry with her when she didn’t do it. The more I looked in to BDSM, the more that just didn’t ring right for me with the whole emphasis on SSC (but like I said this is just one person’s opinion, I’m certainly no expert lol!)
I have to admit, the story as whole bored me too a bit. The concept was there but it just didn’t follow through. But I did like the cinematography and soundtrack on the film, it was just the story I didn’t like lol! 😂
Always appreciate your comments, Michael! X
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I didn’t think that you were judging the books but everyone says the D/s in the book is wrong. While I wouldn’t think of doing it that way, I don’t want to say that. The movies have been better (which is unusual). Haven’t seen the third film yet. But we will.
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That’s fair 😊 Same, I’m still yet to see the second and read the third.
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